Marriage With Christians:

A Qur’anic Perspective

2^nd Edition

By Kashif Shahzada

Introduction

Religiously, can a Muslim man marry a Christian woman? Can a Muslim woman marry a Christian man? Interfaith marriages are commonplace in our society and at times they become contentious issues. While numerous individuals who may profess to be Muslims have spouses adhering to Christianity, the permissibility of such a union based on textual evidence from the Qur’an is seldom cited.

Usually, the couples in consideration marry for love and their marriage is not based on religious guidance. Chances are that they are even unaware of the teachings of their faith. This particular article is for those individuals from a Muslim background who wish to follow religious guidance in their life and wish to consider directives on the matter given by the Qur’an.

If you are someone who considers his or herself to be a Muslim and is in a relationship with a Christian, are considering marriage or are already married and wish to know Qur’anic guidance regarding such a union, then this article is meant for you.

I will not be addressing the subject in cultural terms, but specifically what I wish to present here is technical in nature, i.e. whether a believer in the true sense as mentioned in the Qur’an, is permitted to marry a Christian? How is this question addressed within the Qur’an itself? The following is a discussion on this topic in the light of verses from The Book of Allah that inform us about the status of those people who believe in the Divinity of Christ and the permissibility of marital relations.

The Status Of Those Who Believe In The Divinity of Christ And The Trinity

Those who uphold the divinity of Christ have been identified in the Qur’an to be Kafireen (Rejectors) and Mushrikeen (polytheists, idolaters). We are reminded about them:

“Certainly they DISBELIEVE who say: Surely Allah, He is the Messiah, son of Mary; and the Messiah said: O Children of Israel! serve Allah, my Sustainer and your Sustainer. Surely whoever ASSOCIATES (others) with Allah, then ALLAH HAS FORBIDDEN FOR THEM THE GARDEN,AND THE FIRE SHALL BE THEIR ABODE; and there shall be no helpers for the unjust.” (5:72)

About those Christians who believe in the concept of trinity, we are reminded:

“Certainly they DISBELIEVE who say: Surely Allah is the third (person) of the three (as in a trinity); and there is no god but the one God, and if they desist not from what they say, a painful chastisement shall befall those among Them who disbelieve.” (5:73)

About those who believe in the sonship of God we are reminded in the most clear manner:

“And warn those who say: Allah has taken a son.” (18.4)
“They have no knowledge of it, nor had their fathers; a grievous word it is that comes out of their mouths; they speak nothing but a lie.” (18:5)

Further reminded:

“It beseems not Allah that He should take to Himself a son!, Glory be to Him; when He has decreed a matter He only says to it “Be,” and it is.” (19:35)

In the above verses, the status of idolatrous Christians and the strong resentment of their faith should be clear to you. In the verses above they have been identified as Kafireen and Mushrikeen.

About Shirk (the act of associating partners with Allah) we are reminded in strongest terms:

“And certainly, it has been revealed to you and to those before you: Surely if you ASSOCIATE (with Allah), your work would certainly come to naught and you would certainly be of the losers.” (39:65)

And finally about Mushrikeen, it is said;

“Surely Allah DOES NOT GIVE PROTECTION FROM (THE CONSEQUENCES OF) ASSOCIATING ANYTHING WITH HIM, and gives protection from what is besides that to whomsoever He pleases; and whoever associates anything with Allah, he devises indeed a great sin.” (4:48)

From above verses we can infer that Idolatrous Christians have been called as Kafireen and Mushrikeen (polytheists and disbelievers) (5:72-73). It is Haraam (forbidden) for people who believe in the divinity of Christ to enter Jannah (Paradise) (5:72). People who associate others with Allah, will never be given protection from the consequences of their associating anything with the Laws and attributes of Allah. Shirk is an unforgivable sin in Allah’s sight (4:48) and Christians because of their associating of Jesus as co-equal in divinity with God are also unforgivable, unless they repent of their idolatry.

Bearing the above points in mind can a monotheistic believing man or woman have marital relations with a person about whom Allah speaks so strongly about?

Believers Living In The Guardianship Of Rejectors

In case a person wants any terms of guardianship i.e. the manner in which the wife is under the guardianship of her husband, or a child to his parents, with a idolatorous Christian then about them we are reminded (to be kept in mind that those who believe in the divine status of Jesus and the trinity are termed as unbelievers – Ref 5:72-73):

“Let not the believers take the unbelievers for guardians rather than believers; and whoever does this, he shall have nothing of (the guardianship of) Allah, but you should guard yourselves against them, guarding carefully; and Allah makes you cautious of (retribution from) Himself; and to Allah is the eventual coming.” (3:28)

Again the Believers are reminded:

“O you who believe! do not take the unbelievers for guardians rather than the believers; do you desire that you should give to Allah a manifest proof against yourselves?” (4:144)

Those who do take the unbelievers for guardianship and intimacy they are exposed as,

“Announce to the HYPOCRITES that they shall have a painful chastisement:” (4:138)
“(They are) those who take the UNBELIEVERS for guardianship rather than believers. Do they seek honor from them? Then surely all honor is for Allah.” (4:139)

And finally believers are instructed clearly whether they can have guardianship of Christians and Jews:

“O YOU WHO BELIEVE ! DO NOT TAKE THE JEWS AND THE CHRISTIANS AS GUARDIANS they are guardians of each other; AND WHOEVER AMONGST YOU TAKES THEM FOR A GUARDIAN IS ONE OF THEM; surely Allah does not guide the unjust people.”(5:51)

The above verses clearly mention whether there should be any ties of guardianship between the believers in Quranic message and Christians.

Who Are Muslims Not Allowed To Marry?

Now we come to the issue at hand, whether marriage with Christians is allowed or not. Firstly Christians are identified at many places in the Qur’an to be committing Shirk, (association of partners with Allah) and regarding marriage with Mushrikeen we are reminded clearly:

“And DO NOT MARRY mushrikat (those women who associate others with Allah) UNTIL they believe, and certainly a believing maid is better than a woman who associates, even though she should please you; and DO NOT give (believing women) in marriage to mushrikeen (those men who associate with Allah)  UNTIL THEY BELIEVE, and certainly a believing servant is better than a  man who associates with Allah, even though he should please you; AND THESE INVITE YOU TO THE FIRE, and Allah invites to the garden and to forgiveness by His will, and makes clear His Ayat (verses) to Mankind, that they may be mindful.” (2:221)

The above verse clearly prohibits the marriage of any Mumin or Muminah (believing man or woman) with a Mushrik or Mushrika (woman who associates others with Allah’s laws and attributes). Believers cannot marry them UNTIL they also believe in the Qur’anic Message.

Furthermore we have already identified that such Christians who accept Jesus as God as being Mushrik, therefore it can be reasonably concluded that marriage with Christians who commit Shirk is not permissible in the Qur’an. In (5:72) they are also identified as Kafir (believing man) or (man who associates others with Allah’s laws and attributes) or a (unbelievers) and in Sura 60, verse 10 we are told about marriage between believing women and unbelievers.

“O you who believe! when believing women come to you migrating, then examine them; Allah knows best their belief; then if you find them to be believing women, DO NOT send them back to the unbelievers, NEITHER ARE THESE (BELIEVING WOMEN) LAWFUL (HALAAL) FOR THEM, NOR ARE THOSE (UNBELIEVING MEN) LAWFUL FOR THEM, and give them what they have spent; and no blame attaches to you in marrying them when you give them their dowries; AND HOLD NOT TO THE TIES OF MARRIAGE   OF UNBELIEVING WOMEN, and ask for what you have spent, and let them ask for what they have spent. That is Allah’s judgment; He judges between you, and Allah is Knowing, Wise.” (60:10)

The above verse clearly indicates that for believers, disbelievers in the message of Allah (Qur’an) are not Halaal (permissible) for marriage.

What About Marriage With The People Of The Book?

Many people justify marriage with Christians who believe in the divinity of Christ by saying that the Qur’an allows marriage with people of the Book. However as we have seen that marriage with Mushrikeen is prohibited, this would then be contradicting the Qur’an. Saying at one place not to marry Mushrikeen and at the other allowing marriage with them (assuming that by the term ’people of the Book’, the Christians who believe in the divinity of Jesus is implied). But the Quran says that it has no contradictions in it (4:82) and such an understanding would contradict with itself. The verse, which allows marrying those who were given the Book before us, is as follows:

“This day (all) the good things are allowed to you; and the food of those who have been given the Book is lawful for you and your food is lawful for them; and the chaste (women) from among the believing women and the CHASTE (WOMEN) from among those WHO HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE BOOK BEFORE YOU (are lawful for you); when you have given them their dowries, taking (them) in marriage, not fornicating nor taking them for paramours in secret; and whoever denies faith, his work indeed is of No account, and in the hereafter he shall be one of the losers.” (5:5)

When the Qur’an allows marriage with the people of the Book or those who were given the Book before us, it also identifies in detail who these people are. The Qur’an points out that among the People of the Book there are two categories. The following verse clarifies this;

“You are the best of the nations raised up for Mankind; you enjoin what is right and forbid the wrong and believe in Allah; and if the PEOPLE OF THE BOOK had believed it would have been better for them; of them are BELIEVERS (Muminoon) and THEIR MAJORITY are transgressors. (Fasiqoon).” (3:110)

In the above verse two groups are identified in People of the Book. The first one being those who are Believers i.e. those who believe and agree to the Qur’anic way of life (Minhum ul Mu’minoon). The second group is the one which is in majority and are called as transgressors (Wa akthara hum ul fasiqoon). This category is the one, which unjustly elevates the status of Jesus and ascribe divinity to his person. In Surah 5 Verse 5, when the permission is granted to marry those who were given the Book before us, then it is pointing towards that category of people who are believers in the Qur’anic message of Monotheism and not to the Mushrik variety, as the latter falls into the category of Fasiqoon on account of their Shirk. Among the people of the Book the category of those who have believed in the Qur’an are further mentioned in the following verse:

“They are not all alike; among the PEOPLE OF THE BOOK there is an upright party; THEY RECITE THE AYAT (VERSES) OF ALLAH in the night time and they adore (Him). They BELIEVE in Allah and the last day, and they enjoin what is right and forbid the wrong and they strive with one another in hastening to good deeds, and those are among the good.” (3:113-114)

It is evident from the above that among the People of the Book there are also those who have accepted the Qur’an and believe in Allah and the last day (the description of Allah, last day etc. is to be found in its correct form ONLY in the Qur’an and no where else, and these people of the Book have believed in the Qur’anic understanding of these topics). Such Christians are mentioned as being close to the believers:

“…And thou wilt surely find that, of all people, they who say, “Behold, we are Christians,” come closest to feeling affection for those who believe [in this divine writ]: this is so because there are priests and monks among them, and because these are not given to arrogance. For, when they come to understand what has been bestowed from on high upon this Apostle, thou canst see their eyes overflow with tears, because they recognize something of its truth; [and] they say: “O our Sustainer! We do believe; make us one, then, with all who bear witness to the truth. And how could we fail to believe in God and in whatever truth has come unto us, when we so fervently desire that our Sustainer count us among the righteous?” (5:82-83)

So when Allah informs us:

“..and the CHASTE (WOMEN) from among those WHO HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE BOOK BEFORE YOU (are lawful for you)..” (5:5)

It does not mean in the above verse that these women are those Christians who believe in the divinity of Jesus, as such are identified in the Qur’an as Mushrikeen (in 5:72) and marriage with them is prohibited (in 2:221). Therefore the category mentioned in (5:5) are those among people of the Book who have accepted the message of the Qur’an, as is evident from (3:113-114) and (5:82-84). It is with such Christians who uphold Quranic Monotheism that Marital Relationship is permissible as People of the Book.

To those who insist upon having marital ties with disbelievers in Allah’s message, we are informed what their status will be in that case;

“WOMEN IMPURE ARE FOR MEN IMPURE AND MEN IMPURE FOR WOMEN IMPURE and women of purity are for men of purity and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness and a provision honorable.” (24:26)

People who have purified their lives with the wisdom of the Qur’an have to seek partners of similar attitude.

What If You Are A Muslim And Have A Christian Spouse Who Upholds Idolatorous Beliefs Like The Divinity Of Christ, The Trinity etc?

Well, I won’t advise you to severe your relations upon reading this article. But what I will definitely recommend is that you study the Qur’an in more detail and also share the same with your partner. You should become a practising Muslim not in a traditional or cultural sense, but in a Quranic sense, and your partner should strive to do the same. In this regard your duty is to know and understand the message of Allah yourself, and then to share that message with your partner, inviting him or her to Islam.

The above verses are very clear regarding the issue of Marriage with idolatorous Christians and other Mushrikeen. It is strongly recommended that we make it a habit of regularly reading the Qur’an with understanding and make notes of important verses. We must remember, that what ever is in the Qur’an, is for our own benefit and betterment, and considering the opinion of the Book of Allah in matters of our daily lives will always bring good results in the long run, even though at times they may seem to be against what our desires or wishes are. Remember, we have to listen to what Allah says, and subdue our emotions and feelings in submitting to those commandments. There is relief in following the Qur’an, for it is identified to contain the healing of the wounds we get in our emotional and intellectual life:

“And We reveal of the Quran that which is a HEALING and a mercy to the believers, and it adds only to the perdition of the unjust.” (17:82)

“O Mankind! there has come to you indeed an admonition from your Sustainer and a HEALING for what is in the breasts and a guidance and a mercy for the believers.” (10:57)

Remember, if you really love your partner, then you will not allow any harm to them. The beliefs and theology of Christianity in upholding the divinity of Christ, the Trinity and the concept of Divine sonship are identified in the Qur’an as idolatrous and its adherents are called to rectify themselves. You, as a Muslim have a duty to discuss this aspect with your partner, and save them from hell-fire which is promised for Mushrikeen:

“O ye who believe! save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from God, but do (precisely) what they are commanded.” (66:6)

The past is past. We must look up to the future and allow the Qur’an to be our guide. The Quranic rejoinder “..save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is Men and Stones..” is the duty of every Muslim who truly loves his or her spouse. D’awah (invitation) to the truth should be given with wisdom, but never by coercion, for such is prohibited in God’s religion. The cardinal Qur’anic doctrine that “there shall be no coercion in religion..” (2:256), as well as to the oft-repeated statement that a believer is no more than “a warner and a bearer of glad tidings”, implies that our duty consists only in delivering the message entrusted to us to our family and loved one’s and nothing more beyond this.