I believe polygamy is permissible as an act of charity to the orphans. The verses both preceding and ensuing 4:3 refer to the orphans time and again. However, within the context of this verse, I can only deduce that God is allowing man to marry the widowed mothers of these orphaned children.

“Yatama” itself appears to be gender neutral, and so what are to become of the male orphans when female orphans are married to? This is why I have come to understand that it makes more sense to marry the widowed mother of orphaned children. When I read these verses, I understand that not only do these orphaned children need financial support and shelter, but they also need a father figure. They need a father for reasons pertaining to discipline and authority. This verse is all about the children. I don’t see anything sexual in relation to it. I don’t think it serves to fulfill reasons of companionship or lust, but marriage will ensure these things as long as the orphans are taken care of first.

Possibly bringing a young, destitute woman without children into the family will cause unwanted jealousies and rivalries. This could possibly translate to the family unit breaking down. It’s much easier for a welfare state to financially support a young destitute woman without any children than to support a woman with children. It’s also much easier for a destitute woman without children to get married, because most people find it hard to extend charity along with tender loving care to children who are not biologically their own. Women with children don’t just need money and shelter, but they need a father figure as well to offer some balance to the family life. Children need emotional and social support as well as financial and material support. This gives the charitable man the perfect chance to practice polygamy. Other reasons will only add tension to his existing marriage, in my very humble opinion.

However, saying this, I am not against the God ordained institution of polygamy in other cases if all adults in the family are in full consent of it. Polygamy is not very easy for most people who have lived within monogamous societies (though the exceptions are there), and so we need full cooperation and consent of all parties. Where full cooperation is not met, the family life will only prove to be disastrous. I think it is an injustice to coerce the first wife into a polygamous marriage if she is not wanting to live such a lifestyle. Polygamy is not for the light hearted nor is it for everyone. Even within the context of war and extreme devastation, polygamy is just a way in which charity can be shown and practiced. If an adult does not wish to practice this institution, then there should never be any coercion or guilt placed on this party. Our goal here on Earth is to keep marriages intact first.

Issues with polygamy usually begin when we have non consenting adults who are not happy with the arrangement for whatever reason. In my humble opinion, I feel that polygamy is a system that needs to be regulated and documented in a court of law. The initial family must be able to sustain additional marriages and they must be able to provide documentation in regard to their income and housing situation. Full consent from all participating members must be taken and documented in a court of law. If we’re going to partake in polygamy, then we must legislate it and regulate as well, so that we do not fall into injustices in the name of justice.

This is my take on the institution. I am a woman by the way. Perhaps, I see this issue from a different light. However, I also see the wisdom behind God’s words. For charity’s sake, I could be made to think and act very differently. However, I vouch for consent and coercion free polygamy within any context.